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    5 Essential Qualities for a Romantic Partner Psychology Today

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    • Research has shown that couples who share tastes, interests, and expectations tend to encounter fewer conflicts.3,4 When you like the same kinds of food, movies, or hobbies, and have the same attitudes toward work-leisure balance, child-rearing, and social obligations, there is just less to fight about.
    • Those high in neuroticism (the opposite of emotional stability) are much more likely to have negative and argumentative interactions with others, including their partners.8,9 They also tend to be more jealous and less forgiving.10,11 Not surprisingly, then, individuals high in neuroticism are more likely to end up divorced.12 In the early stages of dating, watch out for someone who seems excessively touchy or anxious: It could be a sign that a relationship with that person will be rocky.
    • When you’re just starting a relationship, it’s hard to anticipate how things will change after months or years together, and how a partner will deal with the inevitable bumps in the road.

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    In other words, those more "superficial' traits were not important at all for those whose partners were kind, understanding, and loyal. 2. Similarity. You should seek someone who is similar to you. A large body of research shows that we are attracted to people who are similar to us, especially those who share our attitudes and values. And, in fact, similar couples are happier. Research has shown that couples who share tastes, interests, and expectations tend to encounter fewer conflicts.3,4 When you like the same kinds of food, movies, or hobbies, and have the same attitudes toward work-leisure balance, child-rearing, and social obligations, there is just less to fight about. There is also evidence that spouses who start out more similar in terms of educational attainment, age, and desired number of children are less likely to get divorced.5 In addition, seeking a mate who is similar to you may sometimes have you searching for traits that are more idiosyncratic — improving your chances of landing someone who has those qualities. Almost everyone wants a mate who is kind and good-looking, so kind and good-looking people are going to be in high demand on the dating market. But if you really want someone who shares your passion for ballroom dancing or your obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the competition is likely to be less intense. Conscientiousness is about being reliable, practical, rule-following, and organized. This may not sound like the sexiest set of traits, but it’s a good package for a long-term mate. People who are conscientious tend to bring that trait into their relationships and are more dependable and trustworthy.6 People who are less conscientious are more difficult to deal with in a relationship – They cancel plans, fail to fulfill their obligations around the house, act carelessly, and fall through on their promises. That unpopular kid in high school who always got his or her homework done and followed all the rules could make a more trustworthy and dependable spouse in the future. The personality trait that affects our relationships most is emotional stability.7 Those who lack it tend to be moody, touchy, anxious, and quicker to anger — all traits that make someone more difficult to live with. Those high in neuroticism (the opposite of emotional stability) are much more likely to have negative and argumentative interactions with others, including their partners.8,9 They also tend to be more jealous and less forgiving.10,11 Not surprisingly, then, individuals high in neuroticism are more likely to end up divorced.12 In the early stages of dating, watch out for someone who seems excessively touchy or anxious: It could be a sign that a relationship with that person will be rocky. When you’re just starting a relationship, it’s hard to anticipate how things will change after months or years together, and how a partner will deal with the inevitable bumps in the road. but you can get a sense of how hard they will work to maintain a happy relationship and resolve conflicts. How? You need to understand their general philosophy about relationships. Researchers have identified two primary sets of beliefs about relationships — growth beliefs and destiny beliefs.13 Those with destiny beliefs think that relationships are either "meant to be" or not.
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    5 Essential Qualities for a Romantic Partner Psychology Today
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    In other words, those more "superficial' traits were not important at all for those whose partners were kind, understanding, and loyal. 2. Similarity. You should seek someone who is similar to you. A large body of research shows that we are attracted to people who are similar to us, especially those who share our attitudes and values. And, in fact, similar couples are happier. Research has shown that couples who share tastes, interests, and expectations tend to encounter fewer conflicts.3,4 When you like the same kinds of food, movies, or hobbies, and have the same attitudes toward work-leisure balance, child-rearing, and social obligations, there is just less to fight about. There is also evidence that spouses who start out more similar in terms of educational attainment, age, and desired number of children are less likely to get divorced.5 In addition, seeking a mate who is similar to you may sometimes have you searching for traits that are more idiosyncratic — improving your chances of landing someone who has those qualities. Almost everyone wants a mate who is kind and good-looking, so kind and good-looking people are going to be in high demand on the dating market. But if you really want someone who shares your passion for ballroom dancing or your obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the competition is likely to be less intense. Conscientiousness is about being reliable, practical, rule-following, and organized. This may not sound like the sexiest set of traits, but it’s a good package for a long-term mate. People who are conscientious tend to bring that trait into their relationships and are more dependable and trustworthy.6 People who are less conscientious are more difficult to deal with in a relationship – They cancel plans, fail to fulfill their obligations around the house, act carelessly, and fall through on their promises. That unpopular kid in high school who always got his or her homework done and followed all the rules could make a more trustworthy and dependable spouse in the future. The personality trait that affects our relationships most is emotional stability.7 Those who lack it tend to be moody, touchy, anxious, and quicker to anger — all traits that make someone more difficult to live with. Those high in neuroticism (the opposite of emotional stability) are much more likely to have negative and argumentative interactions with others, including their partners.8,9 They also tend to be more jealous and less forgiving.10,11 Not surprisingly, then, individuals high in neuroticism are more likely to end up divorced.12 In the early stages of dating, watch out for someone who seems excessively touchy or anxious: It could be a sign that a relationship with that person will be rocky. When you’re just starting a relationship, it’s hard to anticipate how things will change after months or years together, and how a partner will deal with the inevitable bumps in the road. But you can get a sense of how hard they will work to maintain a happy relationship and resolve conflicts. How? You need to understand their general philosophy about relationships. Researchers have identified two primary sets of beliefs about relationships — growth beliefs and destiny beliefs.13 Those with destiny beliefs think that relationships are either "meant to be" or not.



    Source of Article:    

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201702/5-essential-qualities-romantic-partner

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